Marriage is Not a Food
by The Fanfiction Nymph
Summary: Goku and Chichi have hit a hard spot in their marriage after the Cell Games. Goku is dead and Chichi is pregnant and tempers are running wild. Never mind that Kami is their therapist, this is for humor.


_Disclaimer: This story is in no way intended to infringe on any copyrights, It is a strictly a fan fiction. Dragon Ball, Dragonball Z, and Dragon Ball GT are owned/produced/merchandised by the following: TOEI Animation, Bird Studios, Akira Toriyama, Shonen Jump, Funimation, and others possibly not listed._

**Marriage is not a Food!**

_By_ The Fan fiction Nymph

**The Therapist**  
>xxx<p>

Kami sits at a large desk, totally organized and clean. The room is a small rented office space. The carpet smells of cleaning products and the walls are lined with books and certificates. Chichi and Goku are sitting in chairs next to each other facing the desk. Goku has a halo above his head and Chichi is obviously very pregnant.

"So Chichi" Kami begins. "How are you feeling today?"

"I feel awful!" She sobs into a tissue. "I – I feel betrayed and alone and – and nauseous."

"Oh Chichi I'm sorry you feel that way…"Goku says a hand on the back of his head like he always does.

"OH ARE YOU?" Chichi snaps. "YOU are the one who decided to stay dead. To leave me and Gohan alone." Her eyes glow red for a moment.

Kami interrupts.

"Uh – Chichi? We heard how you are doing now its time for Goku. Goku how do you feel?"

"Um…" He looks over at Chichi who is glaring at him menacingly. "I- I feel great- I mean I feel **awful!** Yeah I feel so terrible for uh not being there for Chichi…" He ducks as Chichi throws the box of Kleenex at him.

"LIAR." Chichi screams as she continues to sob hysterically. "Liar!"

"Please Chichi! Calm down – think of the baby." Kami said trying to soothe her. "Come on we can mend your chi with a deep meditation…"

"…" Chichi sat down and looked calm for a moment. "Calm? I am calm. Look at me being calm. A _Single Mother_ – because my husband is dead." Her tone turned angry. "I _AM_ THINKING OF THE BABY YOU IDIOT! Who is the baby going to have as a positive male role model? Do you know what Opera thinks about a baby not having a father figure in their life?" She screamed at Kami as a frying pan materialized in her hand suddenly.

"Uh – GOKU APOLIGIZE TO CHICHI!" Kami yelled as Chichi lunges from her chair landing on Kami's desk. Kami squeals and runs for it, Chichi ensues to chase him around the room – screaming obscenities at him.

Goku looked over at Chichi frightened. She swung at Kami's head and missed. Goku looked at the clock…

"Uh Chichi – I'm – I'm sorry. I know this must be hard on you but…"

Chichi dropped the frying pan and turned to Goku. She smiled running over and hugging him.

"Oh Goku." She cooed, it was all she had wanted to hear.

"- But I have to get going back to Heaven…see their having this tournament-" It was too late. Her eyes flashed a deadly red and her she laughed suddenly – manically. "Uh Chichi are you okay?" Goku asked quietly.

Thunder was heard in the hallway and several interns were suddenly caught in a shower of rain.

In the room, Goku and Kami cowered behind the desk – now turned on its side as a shield. Chichi stood in the middle of the room atop one of the chairs screaming and laughing. She threw a lamp at them and continued laughing.

Then suddenly the wall exploded. Chichi turned to see what it was that was interrupting her now.

Vegeta stood on another desk fist pointed at the now smoking hole. Bulma stood up from the chair she had been sitting in.

"VEGETA!" Bulma screamed. "That is the 5th therapist this month!" She said reprimanding him for the smoking remains of their therapist. "Do you _KNOW_ how hard it is to find a good therapist in this town?"

"Obviously it is very difficult – we have not had a good one yet!" Vegeta growled smugly as he stepped down from the desk.

Bulma let out a guttural scream of exasperation. Then she saw Chichi and regained her composure. She waved.

Chichi calmed down seeing Bulma and the two women sat down in chairs next to each other and began complaining about their men's incompatibility with therapy.

Goku looked up over the desk. Too late -Vegeta saw him.

"KAKAROT!"

"Uh Vegeta." Goku said standing up as Vegeta flew over to him. "f-Funny seeing you here…"

"Kakarot if you mention this to ANYONE I'll break you so hard you'll think you're a woman."

"Uh Vegeta…I'm dead." He said pointing up to his golden halo.

"Makes no difference to me! I'm ready for you anytime anyplace!" With a sneer, he left though the hole in the wall followed by Bulma still spouting about how he ought not to keep blowing up therapists.

There was an awkward silence in the room as the dust settled.

"You see? – This is just what I am talking about." Chichi said standing up and pointing at the fragments of drywall that remained. "They are always like this! Hooligans! We can not go anywhere. Did I ever tell you what happened when I simply asked Goku to get his drivers license? It was a disaster! One disaster after another –"

"In all fairness Chichi, Goku is not responsible for the sudden exploding of the room next door…" Kami said trying to reason with the woman. He suddenly felt uncomfortable under her glare and tried to continue but this time without eye contact. "It almost sounds at times that you are glad that Goku chose to stay dead."

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT I AM." Chichi said with a deadpan expression. Goku audibly gulped.

Kami straightened his desk "Well I think that we've made some great progress. Goku, Chichi, - same time next week?" He said trying to dismiss them.

"Do we have too?" Goku groaned before ChiChi raised her frying pan in his direction. "Uh I mean – of course Kami! Thank you."

Goku and Chichi both rose and bowed before exiting the office. Kami breathed an audible sigh of relief. He opened the drawer of his desk and pulled out a reefer, which he quickly lit and inhaled. Another sigh escaped him. Thank goodness he only did marriage counseling once a week.

**xxxxEnd Chapterxxxx**

_I've had this piece rolling around in my document folder for several years and thought it might be a change of pace. Let me know what you thought of it! Thanks for reading!_


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